Even though I am in the middle of a complete and utter healthy eating rebellion, I'm going to keep up with my weigh ins. I need to be able to look at the repercussions.
Starting weight: 173 lbs
Last week's weight:167
Today's weight: 170 lbs
Weight gain this week: 3 lbs
Total weight loss: 3 lbs
weight chart
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
The Struggle
After my aforementioned terrible stomach bug and consequent loss of 3 lbs, I spent another day or two not really eating much more than toast or crackers. I just still felt kind of yucky and was frankly terrified of eating.
Then I realized how hungry I was. Ugh. What followed was a few days of not being conscious of my meals and snacks. Not even snacks that I like. Just snacks to eat snacks.
And we have to grocery shop. It is frightfully difficult to find healthy things to eat in a house with no fresh food. We don't even have any tuna left. That is a huge deal in our house. Tuna is our back up. We ALWAYS have tuna.
So, I'm struggling. I'm struggling to keep from shoving chocolate chips in my mouth (yes, I managed to find chocolate in the form of baking supplies). I'm struggling to drink enough water. I'm struggling to skip the potato chips after my already unhealthy hoagie. I'm struggling to skip seconds of the pasta dish. Worst of all, I'm struggling to care.
Then I realized how hungry I was. Ugh. What followed was a few days of not being conscious of my meals and snacks. Not even snacks that I like. Just snacks to eat snacks.
And we have to grocery shop. It is frightfully difficult to find healthy things to eat in a house with no fresh food. We don't even have any tuna left. That is a huge deal in our house. Tuna is our back up. We ALWAYS have tuna.
So, I'm struggling. I'm struggling to keep from shoving chocolate chips in my mouth (yes, I managed to find chocolate in the form of baking supplies). I'm struggling to drink enough water. I'm struggling to skip the potato chips after my already unhealthy hoagie. I'm struggling to skip seconds of the pasta dish. Worst of all, I'm struggling to care.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Stepping on the Scale: Week 2
Before I report my weigh in for this week, I have to begin with an explanation.
Monday morning I wasn't hungry. My stomach felt a little off and I just couldn't really imagine eating anything. I skipped breakfast. Not all that abnormal, as I do that a lot. Then lunch time came around. I was a bit hungry, but my stomach kept giving me this sense that something wasn't right and so I skipped lunch.
By around 3pm, my stomach was still in this weird not quite right state, but I was so hungry. I stopped by Wawa for gas and decided to run in for a soda. I also grabbed a soft pretzel. I thought it would be bland enough to not upset my already icky belly yet filling enough to hold me over the next couple of hours until dinner. It did the trick, but I still felt weird, so we had pasta for dinner.
I still felt yucky and a little bit hungry before bed so I had some toast. I went to bed around 11 still feeling off. Around 2am, I woke drenched in sweat and with severe cramping in my stomach. This went on for an hour or so until the dreaded run to the bathroom. Without going into detail, I'll just say that I spent the better part of the rest of the night(morning) between the bathroom and my bed with a bucket. I went from covered and in a fleece with sweatpants to uncovered in just a t-shirt and back again every 15 minutes. It was awful. I shivered and shook so much woke my husband up. I even cried. A lot. I woke the baby! By 7am, I felt like I had been hit by a truck and, although the worst was over, it was still a terrible morning. I napped while C napped and laid on the couch covered with blankets while he played. He also spent a lot of time in his exersaucer while I ran to the bathroom all morning. Eventually, the bathroom trips tapered off around 2pm, but I still felt like I was going to die.
When my husband came home, I handed off the baby and crawled back into bed. I slept for hours. Got up, had toast for dinner, then went back to bed. Today, I feel like I have a light hangover. My head aches and I'm afraid to eat, but it is still 100 times better than yesterday.
I'd much rather be reporting a gain, than this tale of woe. Without further ado, my weigh in.
Starting weight: 173 lbs
Last week's weight:170
Today's weight: 167 lbs
Weight loss this week: 3 lbs
Total weight loss: 6 lbs
Although this loss came via a yucky 36 hours, my goal for this week is to eat healthy and maintain the loss.
Monday morning I wasn't hungry. My stomach felt a little off and I just couldn't really imagine eating anything. I skipped breakfast. Not all that abnormal, as I do that a lot. Then lunch time came around. I was a bit hungry, but my stomach kept giving me this sense that something wasn't right and so I skipped lunch.
By around 3pm, my stomach was still in this weird not quite right state, but I was so hungry. I stopped by Wawa for gas and decided to run in for a soda. I also grabbed a soft pretzel. I thought it would be bland enough to not upset my already icky belly yet filling enough to hold me over the next couple of hours until dinner. It did the trick, but I still felt weird, so we had pasta for dinner.
I still felt yucky and a little bit hungry before bed so I had some toast. I went to bed around 11 still feeling off. Around 2am, I woke drenched in sweat and with severe cramping in my stomach. This went on for an hour or so until the dreaded run to the bathroom. Without going into detail, I'll just say that I spent the better part of the rest of the night(morning) between the bathroom and my bed with a bucket. I went from covered and in a fleece with sweatpants to uncovered in just a t-shirt and back again every 15 minutes. It was awful. I shivered and shook so much woke my husband up. I even cried. A lot. I woke the baby! By 7am, I felt like I had been hit by a truck and, although the worst was over, it was still a terrible morning. I napped while C napped and laid on the couch covered with blankets while he played. He also spent a lot of time in his exersaucer while I ran to the bathroom all morning. Eventually, the bathroom trips tapered off around 2pm, but I still felt like I was going to die.
When my husband came home, I handed off the baby and crawled back into bed. I slept for hours. Got up, had toast for dinner, then went back to bed. Today, I feel like I have a light hangover. My head aches and I'm afraid to eat, but it is still 100 times better than yesterday.
I'd much rather be reporting a gain, than this tale of woe. Without further ado, my weigh in.
Starting weight: 173 lbs
Last week's weight:170
Today's weight: 167 lbs
Weight loss this week: 3 lbs
Total weight loss: 6 lbs
Although this loss came via a yucky 36 hours, my goal for this week is to eat healthy and maintain the loss.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Will Power. I Need Some.
This weekend was rough. I ate an embarrassing number of Hershey's Kisses. Why I grabbed the bag and not just one kiss is a great question? Why I shouldn't have grabbed the bag was evidenced by the pile (yes, I said PILE) of wrappers I had to scoop in the the trash. It was such a large pile that I needed two hands for said scooping. Gross.
It got worse though. I opened a bag of potato chips the next day and ate half the bag. HALF! What the heck is wrong with me? I have no excuse. There was no thought to it either. I was completely oblivious to the fact that I was being a pig until it was over.
I'm disappointed in myself, but it made me realize that until I can gain some control over my impulse eating, we can't have that kind of stuff in the house in mass quantities.
Grocery shopping should be loads of fun next time. ::eyeroll::
It got worse though. I opened a bag of potato chips the next day and ate half the bag. HALF! What the heck is wrong with me? I have no excuse. There was no thought to it either. I was completely oblivious to the fact that I was being a pig until it was over.
I'm disappointed in myself, but it made me realize that until I can gain some control over my impulse eating, we can't have that kind of stuff in the house in mass quantities.
Grocery shopping should be loads of fun next time. ::eyeroll::
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Stepping on the Scale: Week 1
This is not actually my first weekly weigh in as I've been trying to lose weight since a few months after my little guy was born, but for the purpose of this blog, week 1 it is.
Starting weight: 173 lbs
Today's weight: 170 lbs
Weight loss this week: 3 lbs
Total weight loss: 3 lbs
Not too shabby for a week rife with sickness and zero exercise.
Starting weight: 173 lbs
Today's weight: 170 lbs
Weight loss this week: 3 lbs
Total weight loss: 3 lbs
Not too shabby for a week rife with sickness and zero exercise.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Excuses
I am full of them. Always have been. I used to say they were "reasons". Legitimate reasons. What a load of dookie. I KNOW I am an excuse maker, but admitting it has been difficult.
I am sick right now. A nasty cold that hit full throttle practically overnight. I'm congested with a sore throat, chapped lips, a cough, and a nasty cold sore. Oh, did I mention the fever? I've never been one of those people that skips meals when sick. I'd have to be either practically dead or hanging my head over a toilet bowl. And even then, you'd be hard pressed to get me to skip eating. I find a way. And I typically use it as an excuse to eat whatever I want.
Now, exercise is not possible in my current condition. That IS a legitimate reason and not an excuse. BUT, I ate well today. And yesterday. No desserts or extra snacks. Just my meals.
It may be a small step, but I'm proud of it. Small steps are what it's all about.
I am sick right now. A nasty cold that hit full throttle practically overnight. I'm congested with a sore throat, chapped lips, a cough, and a nasty cold sore. Oh, did I mention the fever? I've never been one of those people that skips meals when sick. I'd have to be either practically dead or hanging my head over a toilet bowl. And even then, you'd be hard pressed to get me to skip eating. I find a way. And I typically use it as an excuse to eat whatever I want.
Now, exercise is not possible in my current condition. That IS a legitimate reason and not an excuse. BUT, I ate well today. And yesterday. No desserts or extra snacks. Just my meals.
It may be a small step, but I'm proud of it. Small steps are what it's all about.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Chunky Monkey
By way of introduction, I'd like to explain the title of this blog. This little story will clue you in to how my mind worked more than 15 years ago and, unfortunately, how it still works now.
I was 17 or 18, about 5'7", and tipping the scales [insert sarcasm font here] at a whopping 125-130. Yeah. I was S-K-I-N-N-Y. Problem was, I didn't see it. Nor did my creep of a long term boyfriend at the time, or at least that's what he like to make me think. Sigh.
So, on to the story of the chunky monkey. I was in my room at the end of the hall reading (maybe...I don't really remember what I was doing, but reading is a good bet). My sister and her BFF of forever (then about 13ish years old) were in the dining room talking (and likely being obnoxious as usual).
In my cozy, quiet room I heard ::whispergigglewhispergiggle:: Then, "[inaudible] chunky monkey [inaudible]." I flung myself down the hallway screaming "Don't you call me chunky monkey!!!" like only a teenager could. They froze. Then exploded into laughter. They could hardly speak, they were laughing so hard, but they managed to get this out: "The [snortgaspsnort] ice cream [gaspgaspguffawsnort] Chunky Monkey [LOUDCHORTLING]. Ben & [SNORTSNORTSNORTGASP] Jerry's! [gaspGUFFAWgaspsigh]."
My cheeks were on fire. I was mortified. Of course embarrassed by my assumption and outrage. I think a part of me also knew how insane I must've sounded/looked to them. I probably cried. I always cried back then.
The story is funny now and took on a life of it's own after that. My sister and BFF were fond of teasing me (and anyone for that matter) and it just never died. I bet they laugh about it today. Jerks.
Back to the point. I had (have?) terribly low self-esteem. I misconstrued innocent chatter into insults. Why? Because my body image, like many other teenage girls (and grown women) was (is?) a fat girl (woman?).
The irony is that I was not overweight then. I was NORMAL, even on the skinny side of normal. Now, I actually am overweight. Only by about 14 lbs according to my BMI, but still, technically overweight. Granted, I had a baby almost 11 months ago (and I am at my prepregnancy weight), but I'd love to be in that healthy, NORMAL, weight range once again.
When I turned 30, I weighed 205 lbs and that was my heaviest (other than at 40 weeks pregnant-I think I topped out at 208ish then). I don't want to ever go back. As a matter of fact, I don't even want to go back there next time I'm pregnant.
Basically, I want to get healthy. That is my overall goal. Eat healthier foods and exercise regularly. I want to have more energy to play with my son. I want to be in great physical shape next time I get pregnant. I want to reduce my risk of heart disease & diabetes (both of which run in my family).
Of course, I'd be lying if I said that was my only motivation. I want to be hot. I want to look in the mirror and think, "Wow. I look GOOD." I do feel that way sometimes now, which is a huge step in the right direction for me (as you can see from the aforementioned story).
I will be sharing my journey here. Including photos and goals and plans and such.
I was 17 or 18, about 5'7", and tipping the scales [insert sarcasm font here] at a whopping 125-130. Yeah. I was S-K-I-N-N-Y. Problem was, I didn't see it. Nor did my creep of a long term boyfriend at the time, or at least that's what he like to make me think. Sigh.
So, on to the story of the chunky monkey. I was in my room at the end of the hall reading (maybe...I don't really remember what I was doing, but reading is a good bet). My sister and her BFF of forever (then about 13ish years old) were in the dining room talking (and likely being obnoxious as usual).
In my cozy, quiet room I heard ::whispergigglewhispergiggle:: Then, "[inaudible] chunky monkey [inaudible]." I flung myself down the hallway screaming "Don't you call me chunky monkey!!!" like only a teenager could. They froze. Then exploded into laughter. They could hardly speak, they were laughing so hard, but they managed to get this out: "The [snortgaspsnort] ice cream [gaspgaspguffawsnort] Chunky Monkey [LOUDCHORTLING]. Ben & [SNORTSNORTSNORTGASP] Jerry's! [gaspGUFFAWgaspsigh]."
My cheeks were on fire. I was mortified. Of course embarrassed by my assumption and outrage. I think a part of me also knew how insane I must've sounded/looked to them. I probably cried. I always cried back then.
The story is funny now and took on a life of it's own after that. My sister and BFF were fond of teasing me (and anyone for that matter) and it just never died. I bet they laugh about it today. Jerks.
Back to the point. I had (have?) terribly low self-esteem. I misconstrued innocent chatter into insults. Why? Because my body image, like many other teenage girls (and grown women) was (is?) a fat girl (woman?).
The irony is that I was not overweight then. I was NORMAL, even on the skinny side of normal. Now, I actually am overweight. Only by about 14 lbs according to my BMI, but still, technically overweight. Granted, I had a baby almost 11 months ago (and I am at my prepregnancy weight), but I'd love to be in that healthy, NORMAL, weight range once again.
When I turned 30, I weighed 205 lbs and that was my heaviest (other than at 40 weeks pregnant-I think I topped out at 208ish then). I don't want to ever go back. As a matter of fact, I don't even want to go back there next time I'm pregnant.
Basically, I want to get healthy. That is my overall goal. Eat healthier foods and exercise regularly. I want to have more energy to play with my son. I want to be in great physical shape next time I get pregnant. I want to reduce my risk of heart disease & diabetes (both of which run in my family).
Of course, I'd be lying if I said that was my only motivation. I want to be hot. I want to look in the mirror and think, "Wow. I look GOOD." I do feel that way sometimes now, which is a huge step in the right direction for me (as you can see from the aforementioned story).
I will be sharing my journey here. Including photos and goals and plans and such.
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